Thursday, December 3, 2009

Nothing Must Be Something

A couple of nothings that seem to be something:

Grammys:

For the second year, CBS aired The Grammy Nominations Concert Live. I was quickly dulled into submission and stared disinterestedly at the television for 25 minutes before, by the sheer power of body over mind, I was able to change the channel to watch something imminently more interesting—a repeat of a televised football game I had already watched! If this was a preview of what is to come at the end of January, I won’t need to make any excuses as to why I didn’t see the Grammys. Beyonce, Taylor Swift, and Lady Gaga—when this is the happening, interesting bunch, you know you’re in for a winner of an evening. P.S. Note to Kanye: Beyonce’s video and song are pedantic yawners. P.P.S. Nomination for Hall & Oates "Sara Smile"? WTF Nomination for David Byrne and Brian Eno Everything That Happens Will Happen Today! OMFG

Adam Lambert and the American Music Awards:

Adam Lambert is trying to sell an album. Hmmmm—what’s the best way to sell something? SEX! Why is sex the best way to sell something? Because repressed American’s want more SEX! And the overblown “controversy” about his “sexually charged” performance is in reality a call for we want more SEX! Every denial is the return of the frustrated desire—even the denial for homosexual sex! P.S. His debut album entered the charts at #3. I guess American couldn’t handle it.